Ooo... I didn't know there are unknown visitors to my blog... I think I should write something more intelligent in future? Haha~

I'll be going to the IT fair @ Expo in a few hours' time, feeling scared!!!! Haven't been to one before and I have already heard many stories of the crowd! Gosh... I really don't like crowds...

But for the sake of my Sony VAIO!!!! I'LL GO THE EXTRA MILESSS............ (I stay in the west...) Thinking of getting an iPod too? I can't stand it without music... Has been like that since I lost my HP few months ago... Wonder if they sell HPs @ Expo?

Haha, I totally don't know what to expect over there... Shing told me to bring an umbrella to shield myself from people??? LOL... Bargain + crowd + UMBRELLA = total AUNTIE package!!!

Anyway, my cg is SO funny! HAHA! They (or rather 'We'? =P) are the cutest people ever!!! :)

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This December will be an exceptional one for me...

IT'S THE 1ST DECEMBER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE EXAMS. And after exams, I will be ATTACHED.............  To ST LUKE'S HOSPITAL for 2 weeks.

My first attachment. :) Don't know what to expect too. ANYTHING can happen in a hospital. Just hope that my patients will all be safe and healthy and be discharged before Christmas!!!

And then finally, after exams and attachment, I can celebrate Christmas peacefully and happily!!! (^;^)v

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Gotta leave soon... Nervous!

I feel extremely relieved in this inappropriate exam period. Haha. Managed to get some stuff off my chest and see some true colours. Nothing pisses me off more than indecisiveness. I feel my heart leaping with joy lol...

"All things will work together for the good of those who love Him"

I believe God has greater things in store for me!  =) I wanna give someone a big hug now! Lol...

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I grabbed a book (Talent is never enough - John C. Maxwell) while on the way out yesterday. Don't like wasting time in the train staring at people~ Never did I know that when I flipped to the page I bookmarked, it spoke starkly at me. As if shouting.

"Perseverance Sustains Your Talent"

That's the title for that chapter and it brought me back on track.

"If you run every step of the race well except the last one and you stop before the finish line, then the end result will be the same as if you never ran a step."

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Off for piano! My teacher is in a bad mood recently.... Scariness + stress....

 

Me and Jeff Kor. Nice shot huh! :) So happy that he's promoted to Usher Section Leader, overseeing 40 teams (or issit 40 people?). Anyway, proud of him~ (^;^)v

Glad I bumped into him on Friday and he offered his Usher dinner =X Otherwise I'd have starved man. Bumped into him on Sunday too. And he offered to store my cello in his car so I wouldn't have to carry it all the way home... And today he passed it to me below my house~ So sweet right hahaha.

Talking about Cello... I really don't like carrying my Cello around esp in crowded places like MRT, bus, and EXPO....... Cos I don't like people banging into it or even touching it. =X Ya quite particular... And recently I'm contemplating whether or not to give up playing....... At least for the moment....

My teacher told me not to give up and not to look down on myself cos it takes YEARS to play well... Though I've heard it before, I need this kind of constant encouragement (esp from musicians) to keep me going in music........

Wish I can have lessons again...

*AILEEN HAS ASIA CONFERENCED*

I went for only 3 days.

Friday - I got really lost as I didn't know the 'strategies' of queuing. Wanted to go for 'songwriting' elective but they reduced it to 1 elective that day so I missed it.

Saturday - Had an exam in school, not bad I THINK... But not very good either I THINK... Planned to study in school, but Mr G. called and 'encouraged' me to go... Felt a strong urge to go too. Gotta carry my big and bulky dismantled hamster cage for him in the end. Lol. So mad. May your hamsters live happily ever after in that cage.

Today - Slept only for 3 hours + cos I was too troubled? Had a performance in the morning but disappointed with my playing. The stage was suddenly bright and that made it hard to focus due to my dry eyes + glare. Overall was good I heard. HP went dead after that and I got LOST again. Actually a part of me wanted to be alone... Just a tendency when I feel emo?

Very thankful that for all 3 days, I managed to sit in HALL8! And most importantly I was touched by God every day. Otherwise it'd be a futile trip and a waste of time. But I'd say my heart wasn't in AC due to the 4 impending exams in the next 2 weeks................

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I was lying on bed last night and I began to sing:

Change my heart O God
Make it ever true
Change my heart O God
May I be like You

I just kept singing in between sobs... I didn't even know how out of the blue this song popped out. But it was a good time.

"Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

So I guess our heart stores treasures and our brain stores information?

"Change my heart O God"

How? By taking away the 'old' treasures that we stored in the past, which may not be a treasure anymore, and make room for greater ones?

Something to think about.

 

I know it's pretty late now and I have to wake up pretty EARLY later.... BUT I gotta get some things off my chest.

Benny Hinn's session was GREAT today, no doubt. But I'm just disappointed when I saw some things. YA disappointed. Should I even be? Since it DIDN'T involve me.

But it DID affect me. To see people NOT RESPECTING the presence of God... To take their seats at expo HALL 8 FOR GRANTED when people who came from faraway had to sit in the overflow area.

That disturbed me greatly. I felt angry at those people. But I told myself there wasn't any point getting angry. I couldn't change their attitude anyway. But yes it irked me even now.

What would God feel? Probably worse than me.

Must people always learn by the hard way? Of losing something/someone first before realising?

..... .... ... .. .

Ok I'm performing later so I guess I have to sleep now.

Had a great and wonderful time with God last night in my room... I know He's watching over my life and taking care of me. (Cos my allowance more than doubled this month, it just shows something) I need a black and white answer. A yes or a no. A definite answer. Cos it'll probably affect the rest of my life.

When I'm weak, You're strong
You're my feet when I can't move on...

They say, on the deathbed, the only thing that still matters are the PEOPLE who hold special places in your heart. They are probably people who stick with you till the end. At this moment, who are those people in your life? :)

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Glad I'm done with my revision for Saturday's exam. Starting on another subject now... It's SO SO hard to sit still and study!!! HAHA. So I have to study over a LONG period but still manage to study what I have to.

Ya and performance is on Sunday. I'm feeling nonchalant about it, probably cos it's still quite far to me... Thinking I still have to complete an exam first.

Past rehearsals have been quite an experience, we met Kelly Tang, the composer for that song. And there was a cellist from SSO who joined us. So both him and Elgin combined power and I feel quite stressed playing with them. Haha.

Ok la, it's good. My cello teacher once told me in order to improve I must play with better cellists though sometimes you feel like crap. For my case, it's probably hard to find worse players, so by default I'm always playing with better cellists. Ya it's good cos I find myself slowly improving each time I play. :)

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What a Friend I've found
Closer than a brother
I have felt Your touch
More intimate than lovers

Jesus
Jesus
Jesus
FRIEND FOREVER!

 

Chopin - Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 (Played by: Li Yundi)

It gave me horripilation (refer to my 'Nerdy Box' on the right column =P) the moment he started playing... After playing, it almost seemed like he had to collect back his body, mind and soul before standing up to face the audience.

Enjoy~

 

Still needing a lot of sleep... My studies are at stake. Haha

Was just reading about Obama and one thing that touches me most is his love for his wife. It actually brought tears to my eyes... Maybe cos I'm sick and wimpy and all hahaha.

I'm glad he won the election. When I first saw him, I was hoping he could win cos he looked/s GENUINE and UNASSUMING. He has a pleasant face to look at haha. And I believe it radiates from within.

He got me interested in politics HAHA... At least a little bit... :)

 

 

Argh I'm SICK!!! Having a cold and just feeling fatigue, that I slept a lot today. Haha. My dear KJ was quite cute... "Nurse get sick too?" Lol. YES, in fact the probability is probably higher. =P

Btw, it's our exam break now. So proud of myself cos I woke up at 8 plus this morning to study!!! Lol... But HAD to lie down on my bed after every topic due to the sickness. But wasted the whole afternoon cos I was drowsy and all.....

Am now studying about the NERVOUS SYSTEM which consists mainly of the BRAIN and the SPINAL CORD... My most dreaded topic... Cos it's quite foreign to me and it contains a lot of alien terms. Neuroglia, astrocytes, oligodendrocytes..............?!!?!?!?!?!

='( !!!

Obliviously, I blurted out a question to a friend, "So what does the brain do??" Lol It sounds ridiculous right. BUT DO YOU KNOW? Haha. Gosh... Sometimes the more I study the more confused I get. Or rather, the more I study the more I find out a lot of things which I thought I know but I don't.

Test's on this Saturday and it constitutes 70% of the overall mark for that subject. I MUST do well if not it'd be a big letdown. :(

Ok I'm off...

Sigh, I broke down in school just now. And in a bus on the way home, like your typical tv serial scene. Probably overwhelmed. Disappointed with myself. 

I've seen other classmates breaking down too. And one thing about my course is, all our tutors are nurses. They are sharp to spot any anomalous behaviour and will deal with it within a short period. They are also very motherly which make us feel very 'protected' in school haha. 

Sometimes I wish I can be like other 'normal' schoolmates, where the only commitment they have is just going to school and doing well for exams. How free! How boring.

It's often heard, "there is only so much a person can do." Maybe it's true, maybe it's just an excuse not to stretch ourselves.

My tutor once said "It's either you be a good nurse, or you don't be a nurse at all." It struck me. It's true, once we set our heart to do something, it's either we do it well or we don't do it at all. At times, I wonder if I'm up to it.

Many times I ask myself, "What am I really good in?" Sometimes, I struggle to find an answer.

Am I pushing myself too hard? It just gets frustrating when you KNOW you have the potential to do something better but you're not reaching it.

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On a lighter note, have you ever watched how an AMPUTATION is done??????

I was studying with a friend in the library last night and he showed me a video on youtube, featuring an above-knee amputation............................ And insisted I should watch it since I hope to work in the operating theatre next time....... Hahaha..

It was... Erm... Interesting? I can't think of an appropriate word to describe. It was pretty much like a butchering scene, but everything was done neatly and swiftly.

Hmmm... Come to think of it, there's nothing quite disgusting or cruel/inhumane about it. They are simply procedures that HAVE to be carried out for the better of the patient. And someone, somehow, has to do it.

I hope the public has more knowledge about what goes on in a hospital before making judgment...

P.S: Erm... Maybe this is not a 'lighter note'... Lol...

It's such a relief to have handed in my essay! Such such! (^;^)v

But I know it's a short-lived one, cos end of semester exams start NEXT WEEK. 5 exams over 3 weeks...

Anyway, hope to catch MADAGASCAR 2 this week! For some reasons, I like cartoonish shows like Finding Nemo, Ratatouille... I find them v.cute and fascinating to watch haha.

And oh, yesterday it hit me, upon seeing shops displaying deco, that CHRISTMAS is coming!!!!!! It's a magical time when you can literally feel the love in the air hahaha... =) What makes it more special this year is knowing that when Christmas arrives, I'd have already gone through my EXAMS, ASIA CONF and ATTACHMENT. Yay celebrate!

Once again, I'm awake at a crazy hour, trying to finish up my essay (to be submitted at 1pm later)! I have come to realise that writing such a long essay is like fixing a jigsaw puzzle, trying to piece every part  together to form a nice (hopefully =P) and complete piece.

Strangely while doing, there is a joy in my heart. LOL.. Quite enjoy it. But it's so hard to even add 100 words hahaha. But I hope I can do up a good essay.

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I'm so happy today hahaha. Reason being my dad is going to buy me a PRINTER and HANDPHONE (thank God I didn't buy earlier =X)! And also gave me SOME $$$. =)!!!!!

Wow MIRACLE!!! Wanna walk under open heaven! Believing for a LAPTOP next......... =)

Thanks Yang for your 3 logs of SINFUL treats too. Flown specially from Down Under hahaha. I haven't eaten them and I don't dare to!!!!!! LOL... I'd probably take 1 month to finish them. =P

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I'm seriously mentally fatigue now... *sing* I'M A SURVIVOR, I'M NOT GONNA GIVE UP! Haha whatever right?

1000 words to go...... At least I have a friend and iTunes to accompany me haha.

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Ok it's nap time.

(-_-)zzZ

 

The Secret Garden - Winter Light

 

Hearts call, hearts fall,
Swallowed in the rain.
Who knows, life grows,
hollow and so vain.

Wandering in the winter light
the wicked and the sane,
bear witness to salvation
and life starts over again.

Now the clear sky is all around you
Ahh ahh
Love's shadow will surround you
all through the night.

Stars glowing in the twilight
Tell me true
Hope whispers and I will follow
Till you love me too

Chanced upon this and I think it's a magical song cos it can transport one into another world in an instant. If you've read the book "The Secret Garden", it's the perfect song for the scene when they entered the garden. Hehe.

Enjoy~

..... .... ... .. .

I feel sick, or is it just a psychological effect? I love challenges, but I think I got more than I asked for.

:) ?

Wow I'm still up despite a LONG day.

Had a project presentation earlier, glad that I didn't have STAGE FRIGHT. I wasn't nervous at all and my hands were warm. Miracle! Haha. Cos say 1 or 2 years ago, I'd just freak out la.

Talked to 6 people on the phone tonight (which explains why I'm still up) and that is also a MiRaCLe considering I'm not the phone type. Slowly beginning to like it though... :)

Yet another LONG day tmr, but I am feeling good now hehe.

(^;^)v

Kailin reminded me that "those who waters will be watered himself" Wow, thanks!!! =)

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Phyzzzio test result is OUT. Kinda disappointed with it cos I didn't do well, and I wanna do well.

Anatomy test was OVER. Kinda disappointed with it cos I know I couldn't do as well as previous.

My gradessss.....

I hope I can write a good essay on TERRI SCHIAVO. Cos I like writing  GPish stuff and I wanna redeem myself. :(

Believing is seeing!!!